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Welcome to a world of Dean Koontz,
Lobsters and fun in a tent.
(this is not a cult for everyone.)


The Dean Koontz, Lobster F*cking
(in a Tent) Cult!

All in all it's just for fun.
Dean Koontz was born in Pennsylvania,
but he lives in California now...
probably to get away from all the lobsters.
above is a picture of him and his wife, Gerda.
We have no proof that they are lobster F*ckers.

In order to truly join the DKLF(IT)C or
Dean Koontz Lobster Fucking (In a Tent) Cult,
you would first have to acquire a tent.
I personally prefer those big renaissance style
ones in order to provide plenty of room.
Next get yourself some lobsters,
live or stuffed.
I prefer stuffed mainly for safety purposes.
if there are any beanie baby lobsters
they would work quite well.
next you must try to acquire Dean Koontz,
this is the difficult part.
Since most people cannot get their own
Dean Koontz, you may either set up a
photo of him or quote some of his novels.
After this, you should gather all of your
friends together and initiate them
into the DKLF(it)C.
Make sure you have enough lobsters
to satisfy everyone.
now f*ck the lobsters
and/or Dean Koontz in the tent.
To complete the ritual, everyone
must say their praise for Dean Koontz.
And thank your lobsters.
The End.

Coming soon:
The Dean Koontz Lobster F*ucking (In a Tent) with a Blue Sun Cult.

or, if you're dean koontz, yell at me.

****Christina ~ Thank you for the inspiration. ****
Lets hope i don't get sued by Mr. Koontz or some lobsters.